20 week reflection.

i'm finally half way there through this pregnancy roller coaster of a ride and overall it hasn't been too bad.  i've had my fair share of bumps, but in the end, i'm just counting my blessings and thankful that we were even given this opportunity by God.  it's truly a miracle people!  so here it goes...my 5 month reflection:

first trimester was not a walk in the park.  you see, i was spotting until 10 weeks.  so my ob advised me to take it easy and not do anything to jeopardize the pregnancy.  she prescribed me progesterone as a prophylactic insurance to help this pregnancy stick.  with my history of miscarriages, i couldn't be overly excited just because i didn't know how it was all going to pan out.  this emotional baggage, coupled with all the expected first trimester symptoms of extreme sleepiness, nausea (particularly dry heaving at a moments notice), occasional vomiting especially when i ate too much, headaches, feelings of bloatedness like i've never felt before, and the ever popular and ladylike symptoms of feeling gassy and constipated, this trimester was rough.  of course, being who i am, despite these gastronomical mishaps, i wanted to eat...go figure.  i actually craved carl's junior (to my chagrin, but to john's delight).  i can't tell you how many times i ate a western bacon cheeseburger, crisscut fries w/ ranch and a milkshake.  i know, kinda disgusting.  and this was so confusing to me because i rarely eat fast food.  ironically, the foods that i loved to eat, like mexican food - protein shakes - kale/spinach/berry smoothies, had no effect on me.  my fav foods actually kinda disgusted me.  i truly am convinced that my belly during the first trimester was pure, unadulterated gas + poop.  sorry, if this is TMI, but i'm just trying to keep it real ;-)

on to the second trimester.  it's true when they say this is the best time, so enjoy it.  i had this new rush of energy and i was no longer constipated (thank goodness).  plus, my ob gave me the a-ok to start exercising and i was no longer spotting.  so i put on my asics and headed to lake merced for a jog and la boxing to take my boxing and kickboxing classes.  this made me so happy.  my body started to feel strong, food was no longer my nemesis, and i started to eat healthy again.  not dieting, but not indulging in fast food either.  i no longer craved carl's jr (to my delight, but john's chagrin).  and when we found out we were having a girl and i started to feel baby ella's movements in my belly, life couldn't get any better.  i'm still a little picky about the foods i eat, i get the occasional, excruciatingly painful leg cramp in the middle of the night, and the never fail 2 am pee sometimes keeps me awake.  but overall, these minor pregnancy symptoms aren't too bad at all.

i'm not going to lie, the weight gain, the belly growing noticeably every week, the fear of stretch marks, and the overwhelming pressure to get back into shape post-baby is really doing a number on me.  it's exciting, yet scary-as-heck.  but i am trying my darndest to stay positive, to think happy thoughts, and to envision beautiful things.  my mom says i should do this so that i will have a happy baby.  and there you have it, my 20 week reflection.

i think i've caught you all up to speed.  thanks for reading!