2012. What a year.

2012 was an interesting year.  it really taught me that in life, when a door closes, sooner or later, another one opens.  as i think back to the earlier part of the year, i can remember feelings of sadness, anger, and jealousy.  i'm really embarrassed to even admit that those feelings were a part of me because deep inside, i know i was/am truly blessed and lucky for all the good things in my life.  but sometimes, one cannot see beyond one's own nose.  that kind of tunnel vision can really mess you up.  it's toxic for your mind, body, and your loved ones around you.  pregnancy is such a beautiful journey, but when 1 month turns into 3, then turns into 6, then turns into a year, then turns into 2 years, the journey somehow losses it's appeal and looks and feels more like the worst ride of your life.  if you're like me, then you're used to working hard for what you want and achieving it.  fertility, is whole other ball game.  conception is truly a miracle if you look at the statistics.  the odds are actually against you.  now, if you are one of those lucky women who can get pregnant at a drop of a hat, then awesome for you.  but for the rest of us, it may not happen that easily.  even with help from western medicine, it is still up to God to make it happen.  

in the beginning of the year, john and i were trying to get our mind off of things and decided to do some traveling.  one of our favorite pass times.  some of the places we went were new orleans, new york, and boston.  we just love exploring big cities.

we also decided to do some running to get our mind off of things.  here are some of the things we saw during our runs.

then the most amazing, wonderful, and epic thing happened to us.  we got pregnant.  and the pregnancy stuck.  wow, what a game changer.  so long to anger, sadness, and jealousy.  it's mind boggling to experience such a dramatic turnaround.  one minute you feel one way, and the next minute you feel something completely different.  without sounding hokey, it really is kind of  life changing.  of course, i was cautious to let my emotions loose and feel too happy because of the fear of having a miscarriage again.  but we got through the first trimester, and the second, and now we're in the long stretch.  until, i actually see and feel her in my arms, i'm  not totally letting go.  it's just too surreal for me.  the funny thing is, is that i thought getting pregnant would somehow give me some relief.  ironically it didn't.  throughout the pregnancy, i was always worried of something whether it was a pain, a test result, a symptom.  now i'm thinking about the labor, and hoping it goes well.  i'm also praying that she's healthy and strong.  i'm also worried about breast feeding.  geez, does the anxiety ever let up???  the funny thing is, is that i know that my fears and anxieties will never let up.  you reach one hurdle of life, and another one...sometimes, even bigger hurdle presents itself.  but that's what's so unique and special about life.  how boring would it be to have everything perfect and neat and expected.  john always said that life is about the journey and not the destination.  God made us wait to have our first child.  the long wait made this pregnancy that more sweeter of a ride.  we feel so blessed beyond our wildest dreams.  life is no where near perfect for us...we're still looking for a house, my career is not exactly where i want it to be, we are still bogged down by problems and insecurities just like everyone else.  but at least the tunnel vision opened up a bit.  we can finally see beyond our noses and feel gratitude and humbled by what God gave us.  oh 2012, what a year it has been.  cheers to you!  2013, what are you going to bring to the table????

Second trimester reflection.

i really enjoyed this trimester.  i felt good.  my energy level sky rocketed compared to the first trimester. and all my horrid GI symptoms magically disappeared.  except maybe the gassiness.  sorry hun!  i still haven't had any "cravings", except for the occasional bear claw danish here and there.  but overall, i think i ate pretty healthy and continued to exercise, all the while listening to my body and not pushing it too much.  as i think back on the last 29 weeks here is what i would say to another newly preggo mama and/or remind myself for next time.

1. watch what you eat.  you only need an extra 200-300 calories during pregnancy.  keeping your weight down really, really helps with feeling comfortable in your growing body.  plus, i think it helps with minimizing stretch marks.  
2. stay active.  ideally, it would be great if you were in the best shape of your life right before you get pregnant.  but if you were like me, and wishing you were just 5 lbs lighter before this journey began, at least stay active.  i think that exercising, stretching, and strengthening my core has helped me move despite a big belly, keep the aches and pains at bay, and keep my energy level up.  sometimes john even forgets i'm pregnant!
3. buy maternity clothes early.  but only the necessities.  i bought 3 pairs of full panel maternity pants by the end of the 1st trimester and have worn them consistently since then. i feel i really got my money's worth.  even though they were a little too big back then, i can't tell you enough how comfortable they were/are.
4. listen to your body.  if you're tired, take a nap.  but if you feel great, then go for it!  i jogged, albeit slowly throughout my 2nd trimester and i'm glad i did.  nowadays, i walk fast on an incline on a treadmill.  but i know that after i deliver baby gabriella, my endurance isn't going to be shot.
5. try not to obsess over your weight.  i am still struggling with this one.  i weigh myself every few days.  but i think once a week, or even every 2 weeks to keep track of it would be sufficient enough.
6. drink lots and lots and lots of water.  it sounds counter intuitive, but when you feel bloated, you actually need to drink more water.  plus, being dehydrated can cause contractions.  so drink lots of fluids.
7. support wear.  i posted about this topic here
8. don't over use dr. google.  this is a hard one for me.  but the info on the internet can make you go crazy.  

i think that's it.  if i think f anything else i'll be sure to let you know.  it'll be interesting to see what the next few months have in store for me.  we shall see!!

PS

I apologize there are no photos in this post.  i know...baaaad blogger!

**addition**
     9.  panty liners.  good ones at that.  i like the poise brand.  just trust me on this.

The diaper/undiaper bag conundrum.

i registered for the diaper dude messenger bag for john and i.  i figured it would be better to get a "masculine" bag for both of us rather than a cute, feminine one that he'd feel uncomfortable carrying around.  plus it got pretty good reviews on amazon and from the various blogs i read.  here is a pic of it...

however, i really wanted to register for the skip hop versa diaper bag too.  again, the great reviews and appealing looks of the bag drew me to it.  you can see for yourself here...

but then i got to thinking about what makes a bag a diaper bag.  2 overarching characteristics that i have come up with are that diaper bags are bags that are (A) large and (B) have a lot of pockets or sections.  can i add that diaper bags aren't cheap.  the diaper dude bag is $59.99 at babies r us.  and the skip hop versa diaper bag is $69.99.  i know, crazy right?!  the bags aren't even leather.  as any human being  would be, i was  on pinterest gathering ideas and inspirations for my life in general and came across this...

kf baby diaper bag organizer
it is only $14.88 on amazon.

but then i stumbled upon this "pin".

via

bingo!  i kinda had an "aha" moment...i mean, not really...but you get how excited i was.  i have been wanting another longchamp le pilage large shoulder bag for awhile now since bubba, chewed up my black one and broke the zipper.  can i say how sturdy this bag is?  i still use it everyday for work.  and when i went back to school i used it then too.  this bag carried my laptop, books, papers, and food.  i have spilled a ton of drinks and food in it as well, and all i have to do is wipe it clean.  it still looks good after all the wear and tear.  and considering how bubba can tear things up if he thinks there is food in something, the zipper was only minusculy broken.  after my experience with this bag, don't you think it would make an excellent diaper bag?  the only thing is, is that it lacks pockets.  but, if i buy cheap, clear pouches or even the kf diaper organizer, i think i can make it work.  can i introduce you to my 

diaper bag of choice?  ta-da!

in bilberry since i already have the black one.
it is the perfect shade of dark purple, almost black.

i just received it in the mail.  thanks to 2 bloomingdale's gift cards, a 20% friends and family sale, and free shipping and handeling, i got this new bag for less than $30.  what a steal wouldn't you say?

you know i'm going to ask...what kind of diaper bag did you end up using?

Weeks or months?

before i was pregnant, i never understood why women would say 24 weeks.  why not say 6 months?!  or 28 weeks.  why not just say 7 months?!  it almost annoyed me.  but i think i get it now.  our bodies change so quickly each week that we, or at least i, track my own pregnancy journey week by week.  actually, sometimes day by day.  i swear there's always somethin' new happening to my body that's foreign/weird/kinda gross/amazing...you get the picture.  anyways, i just thought i'd shed some light on this ever so important subject of stating a woman's pregnancy progress in weeks vs months ;-)

i'm thinking that's why when you ask a mom how old her child is she'll say 14 months, or 18 months, or whatever their child's age is in months.  this puzzled me as well, before i became pregnant.  but i'm thinking now about it, and it's probably because babies grow so fast and are developing and changing so quickly that from 12 months, their child can be totally different at 14 months.  am i right moms?

and now, because it's my blog and i can post whatever i want...even if it's totally unrelated...i'll leave you with a few no a lot of photos of my 2 lovable rugrats at the park.

even if this photo of bubba is overexposed, i had to include it b/c
he's too stinkin' cute. 

again, i don't care about bubba practically glowing.  he's too adorable.

while bubba takes the cake for being cute.  my joey biscuit is just so handsome.

he's blind, so he's constantly sniffing the ground.

my jojo in action.

aah yes, a shot with both of them together. 

hehe, you get to see jojo's white booty.

handsome i tell you.  handsome.

don't let bubba fool you.  he's no puppy, even tho he looks like one.

anyone who has walked my dogs knows this about jojo.  at any given
notice, he will just sit.

it can be a bit annoying and embarrassing if others are around.  it sometimes
comes to the point where i have to carry him home.
oh well...i'll do it, because i love him.

all 3 of us were just trying to enjoy our last few days of fall before it starts to rain.  and as a closure, i'll leave you with this photo.

thank goodness i can still see my toes!

A few old wives tales about pregnancy.

the good news is is that i'm slowly nursing this cold and feeling a lot better today.  the bad news is, is that i think john is now sick.  as i currently type this post, he is beside me and has a scarf around his neck, a beanie on his head, breathe right on his nose, and vicks close by on our nightstand.

i was looking at some photos i took at my friend's baby shower over the weekend and couldn't help but wonder in amazement how each woman "carries" her pregnancy so differently.

I started to google old wives tales about pregnancy and they all made me chuckle.  let's just say, i'm definitely having a girl!  just in case your curious, here's a few of them courtesy of justmommies.com

1. If you're carrying in the front, you're having a boy.  If you're expanding horizontally, you're having a girl.
2. If your fetal heart rate is consistently above 140, you're having a girl.  If you're baby's heart rate is slower, then you're having a boy.
3. Oh cravings...sweets, then it's a girl.  Salty/sour snacks, then you're having a boy.
4. They say a girl steals her mother's beauty.  Having pregnancy acne?  Then a girl it is.  If you have smooth, glowing skin, then it's a boy.
5. If your partner is gaining weight right along with you, then you're having a girl.  If he/she doesn't, then your having a boy.
6. This one's interesting.  If you put your wedding ring on a string and hold it above your pregnant belly...if it swings back and forth, you're having a girl.  If it moves in circles, then it's a boy.

there you have it, some interesting old wives tales about pregnancy and gender predictions.  do you think these urban legends have some truth behind it??? 

Even though I'm not a cat lover...

i thought this was just the most coolest thing i ever saw.  how weirdly ironic is this?

a couple of weeks ago, my cousins and i strolled through an arts and craft fair in alameda.  we stumbled  upon an adoption booth for animals and this is what we saw!  for those of you that don't know, my middle name is felicitas.  i was named after my grandmother, whom we called mama "lita".  please excuse the photos.  my niece was the one taking the pictures.  i must say, i thought this was cooler than cool ;-)

here are a few more photos that my niece and i took as we strolled through the fair.

20 week reflection.

i'm finally half way there through this pregnancy roller coaster of a ride and overall it hasn't been too bad.  i've had my fair share of bumps, but in the end, i'm just counting my blessings and thankful that we were even given this opportunity by God.  it's truly a miracle people!  so here it goes...my 5 month reflection:

first trimester was not a walk in the park.  you see, i was spotting until 10 weeks.  so my ob advised me to take it easy and not do anything to jeopardize the pregnancy.  she prescribed me progesterone as a prophylactic insurance to help this pregnancy stick.  with my history of miscarriages, i couldn't be overly excited just because i didn't know how it was all going to pan out.  this emotional baggage, coupled with all the expected first trimester symptoms of extreme sleepiness, nausea (particularly dry heaving at a moments notice), occasional vomiting especially when i ate too much, headaches, feelings of bloatedness like i've never felt before, and the ever popular and ladylike symptoms of feeling gassy and constipated, this trimester was rough.  of course, being who i am, despite these gastronomical mishaps, i wanted to eat...go figure.  i actually craved carl's junior (to my chagrin, but to john's delight).  i can't tell you how many times i ate a western bacon cheeseburger, crisscut fries w/ ranch and a milkshake.  i know, kinda disgusting.  and this was so confusing to me because i rarely eat fast food.  ironically, the foods that i loved to eat, like mexican food - protein shakes - kale/spinach/berry smoothies, had no effect on me.  my fav foods actually kinda disgusted me.  i truly am convinced that my belly during the first trimester was pure, unadulterated gas + poop.  sorry, if this is TMI, but i'm just trying to keep it real ;-)

on to the second trimester.  it's true when they say this is the best time, so enjoy it.  i had this new rush of energy and i was no longer constipated (thank goodness).  plus, my ob gave me the a-ok to start exercising and i was no longer spotting.  so i put on my asics and headed to lake merced for a jog and la boxing to take my boxing and kickboxing classes.  this made me so happy.  my body started to feel strong, food was no longer my nemesis, and i started to eat healthy again.  not dieting, but not indulging in fast food either.  i no longer craved carl's jr (to my delight, but john's chagrin).  and when we found out we were having a girl and i started to feel baby ella's movements in my belly, life couldn't get any better.  i'm still a little picky about the foods i eat, i get the occasional, excruciatingly painful leg cramp in the middle of the night, and the never fail 2 am pee sometimes keeps me awake.  but overall, these minor pregnancy symptoms aren't too bad at all.

i'm not going to lie, the weight gain, the belly growing noticeably every week, the fear of stretch marks, and the overwhelming pressure to get back into shape post-baby is really doing a number on me.  it's exciting, yet scary-as-heck.  but i am trying my darndest to stay positive, to think happy thoughts, and to envision beautiful things.  my mom says i should do this so that i will have a happy baby.  and there you have it, my 20 week reflection.

i think i've caught you all up to speed.  thanks for reading!

Dude Group.

is this what john has to look forward too??  going from this...

cool, childless, buff dude who can
workout whenever he wants to, go where ever he
wants to, and do whatever he wants to...

to this...

or this?

or this?

or even this?

i know i'm a big dork, and corny at times, but writing this post made me chuckle =)